Now Hear This: Marina And The Diamonds

Facebook Reunion: Heather M

Part 1: Do you remember me??? We had a class together at Hancock sooooo long ago! I always wondered what happened to you! :) I hope you are doing good!

Part 2: I think we had an English class together and my friend Kat was in there too... I can't really remember much else. It's been a really long time. :) I used to talk to you all the time! Hahahaha! Um...the only thing I remember was that you wrote one of your papers about an En Vogue song...

Part 3: I don't know! I always remembered your name and wondered what happened to you. You were always super nice and made me laugh. I think we talked even after that class and stuff and I remember that you used to work at Albertson's, right?? I am just REALLY bad at keeping in contact with people. I actually haven't talked to Kat since then either and I always wondered what happened to her too. We went to high school together and I just found her on Facebook too, but I haven't heard back from her yet. What have you been doing???


*I met this chick when I was 19 years old in Junior College back home. I think I'm just gonna send her a link to my blog and let her get bored one day and just read through it; I have no idea where to begin : )


jv

Gay Pride House Party

The summertime has officially arrived and the social train has me back on track for another great year. I had been feeling kinda down and out in Beverly Hills the last week but I just got back from my camping trip--holy shit you will not believe what I have been doing the last 48 hours--and then remembered that I hadn't posted the pics from my Gay Pride party. Many thanks to our illustrious photographer, Mr. Joe Montana.


jv

Now Hear This: Tiga

I'm Going To Step Outside Myself Right Now

So I was invited to go camping up in Calistoga this weekend by a bunch of Radical Faeries and while I appreciated the invite, to be honest camping under the stars in a forest isn't really much my thing, and neither is roughing it. The Aids Ride got me a little okay with the camping part, but then they had medical services and ready to go food available.

The Faeries are great people and I've had at least 3 of them call me in the last 3 days offering rides and food and encouragement...how can I say "No" to a group of people so kind?

So I just turned over in my bed right now and I was, like, "Why the hell not? Why should I be stuck in bed on the 4th of July all depressed and pathetic? Bitch, you are going camping!!!!" I told myself.

Okay, so I have to go now : ) I'll talk to you guys on Monday...wish me luck : )

P.S.

I'm not even sure that I know who I just got off the phone with, but he tells me that he knows where to pick me up. "I was on the roof at your party when the cops came and kicked everyone off," he said.

Somehow that was reassuring.

P.P.S.

Brian is there, so I'll be okay...


jv

Now Hear This: Animal Collective

This song was the lead track on the soundtrack to that nightmare I had last night. And the video looks like the really brilliant inspiration one of my Radical Faerie friends would get after a 5 day drug binge at Burning Man, but I love it.

jv

This entry is going to seem like it has come out of the blue without warning but for those who really know the real me, well, it wont be much of a surprise at all because you've probably heard it all before.

It's the conversation I get all Emo over when people find me alone in a room and sitting in the dark after the end of a really great party; or sometimes in comes out of mouth when a close friend and I are on that bench up on the corner of Church and 20th St, the one that overlooks Dolores Beach and that fucking incredibl City view...you know the one I'm talking about!

There's no right way for me to dive into this other than to say that my Mom had kids way too early in life. By the time she was my age now, my brother David and I were 8 and 9 years old, and she wasn't ready for the responsibility of two rambunctious children, especially two boys that never seemed to stop clobbering each other.

Looking back as an adult, I try hard to understand her situation, mostly in effort to understand why it is that I don't have a relationship with her now. Sure, I get emails, and I post those so you guys think that I have a close family life, but the truth is that emails are the extent of my relationship with my parents.

My parents don't come visit me, they come up with excuses that make a lot of sense. Things like: Bedbugs. Homeless People. Asian Street Gangs. How Much Their Feet Hurt Will From So Much Walking. They're Nearly In The PoorHouse And That They Cannot Afford To Take Off Work (My dad retired from being a police officer for 30years with 70 % of his benefits + 3 weeks after retiring got a coushy job working in undercover security at an Indian Casino).

A lot of people out there think I'm some bastard because I speak my mind and I refuse to waste any of this precious life on morons, but the truth is that I'm a pretty decent character, and a lot of that comes directly from my not wanting to be like my Mom.

The ugly truth is that my Mom left us when we were kids, and when she came back she was verbally and physically abusive toward all of us. She likes to talk a lot about these terrible parental figures like Joe Jackson or Mommy Dearest, but the truth of the matter is that we grew up to be just as scared of her and those kids were of their parents.

I've never talked about this publicly but it honestly eats at me everyday, the thought that my parents could die off and that it's possible that we'll never have healed our relationship, and I've been crying a lot these last few days because that's what happens whenever I interact with my family. Sure, I get presents in the mail at Christmas and maybe some candy at Easter, but I resent all of it.

You're going to laugh at me because it sounds so cheesy, but I would trade all of that shit just to feel like she loved me, I think she does, but she can't show it because she refuses to grow as a person, and that's why it's so important to me as a person that I continue to tear at who I am and grow, because I don't want to be like her.

What makes up for this is all the love from my Brother and my friends, who are my real family. I'm in crisis right now but I don't have a home to go back to, and that's probably the saddest part of all.


Jv

Text Me

Eric: No gracias. Brown and green remind me of poop and barf.
Sean: I'm gonna rent a zipcar and go to Steamworks to workout soon. Interested?
Dave-Some: Coming up to the camp this weekend? We are finalizing planning today. Let me know soon : )
David: Oh Jason don't apologize for anything. Be happy happy! The sun is out! The sky is spectacular today! I heart you.
Ryan Allen: Sorry I didn't make it to ur party on Saturday. It was crazy out there.
Robyn: I know. I miss you too. I'm taking way too many classes, on top of work, so I can't be out late, but I'd love to grab dinner soon, or see a movie w you or something. Esp before I leave!
Juanita MORE!: Love you, Jason!!! Thanks : )
Deven: I love you because you are full of the truest intentions!
Emma: I'm here come down.
Frank-Paul: Hi hun what is the booze situation? I'll bring 2 20ozer's 4 me and a bottle of Pinot 4 U? Planning to migrate round 10.
Red High Heels: The party is @ 25 & Mission @ dance mission.
Abraham: On my way to Baker Beach...
Jenina: Watchu doing? Were at Dolores Park watching Trannies...


jv

I'll bet you gasped when the dude said, "Bubbles is now 26 years old...."
My parents wouldn't let David and I have a chimp when we were kids because my parents suck. I can remember even asking for a red zipper jacket and my Mom still said no...remember, this is the woman that said no to Neverland my entire life. I totally could have gone to that amusement park and went to the petting zoo on the grounds but it was always "no, no, no..."

When Frank-Paul Blogs

I've wanted to check in with you for a while now but haven't been able to find the time for writing...that is, until today. It's SF Pride & I've definitely been celebrating all weekend. I ended up going to a couple bars on Friday night while visiting with my old friend Matt. It was great to see him again...the last time we hung out was about 7 years or so ago. And last night it was all about Jason's Pink Saturday house party and a street party that included both cockrings and a giant disco ball...so thankful the weather has been cooperating all weekend too. Sun and 70+ degree temps makes everything so much more enjoyable and I love not needing a jacket...really feels like Summer.

July will fly by...the last days of my 20's. I have a 4 day work week coming up because of 4th of July...so looking forward to the 3 day weekend & the holiday. Then it's back-to-back Tori Amos concerts followed by a No Doubt concert that I'll be watching from the pit. After that, I'll be heading to New Mexico for a 4-day getaway to visit Lila & Jen. I'll get back from that trip July 28th and then I'm off to Tahoe. As soon as I get back from Tahoe, I'll be visiting with a few relatives visiting San Francisco and then I will actually turn the big 3-0.

I can't believe I'm going to be 30! I don't feel 30 but might be starting to look it. I must say, this is a very weird age but I'm trying my best to embrace it. Looking back at my accomplishments over these last 3 decades, I feel pretty successful in my professional & personal life. But I still feel unfulfilled creatively. Artistry, fitness & saving money will be the focuses of my 30's.

I don't want to believe it but I am getting old...Michael Jackson is dead now and he was only 20 years older than me. It scares the shit out of me to think that I could only have 20 more years of my life left. His death reminded me about how important it is to make the most out of your life...because it really is short...I definitely feel like I'm doing this now. Goodbye 20's, it's been fun!

Frank

MR HUDSON [FEAT KANYE WEST] - SUPERNOVA from MrHudson on Vimeo.

This is actually a pretty mediocre song but I've watched it at least 6 times over the last 12 hours, so I guess there's some kind of connect happening.

I have friends in small towns that write to me and tell me that they wished that they could have a life as fun as mine; I'm like a funny escape for Moms that have just put their children down to sleep, and that thought makes me smile. On screen I have the life we all used to dream of, and it's true that overall I have a fun life, but it's honestly not always like that.

The flip side to that are the people that only know me from the nightlife and who seem genuinely perplexed to learn that I'm not actually connected to an IV filled with Jägermeister 24 hours a day, and who sometimes find it an odd notion that I may actually have something to say.

So is there a middle to a two sided coin? And just what the hell is he trying to say, you may be asking yourself right now : ) Oh God, why does change have to be so painful?

jv

More Michael Memories

Jason-

I was reading your blog and what you wrote about Michael.

I remember when your Dad had court in Santa Maria for two weeks for one of his cases and how he witnessed the craziness of the Michael Jackson trial. He stood next to the family several times on the 2nd floor during breaks, introduced himself to Mr. Jackson and told him that his wife was friends with his brothers family.

Mr. Jackson introduce Mrs. Jackson to Dad, then invited your father to go fishing with him but all Dad could think was this man was a mean father to his sons. Dad said even back then Michael was tall, painfully thin and shy.

I can remember Michael coming in to Lompoc with his children to buy comic books then going over to Larry's and Michael's. Sandra Perez used to go to the ranch, and the Encino home. She said that Michael's favorite dish was cheese enchiladas since he was a vegetarian.

She can remember when Janet was a chubby teenager and the brothers liked Mexican and Philippino girls. All the Jackson's used to come to visit their Uncle and cousins in Lompoc and they would go up to Beattie Park to play Basketball. I got invited a couple of times but you boys were small so I didn't go and I passed on going to the ranch with Sandra.

His Aunt told me that Diana Ross was a vulgar bitch. There so much more that I can't think of right now...

Mom

Happy Gay Pride

Jason and Lady GaGa say, "Happy Gay Pride."

The Gayest Music In The Universe

My heterosexual roommate is making the playlist for our Gay Pride party and so far I've heard Beyonce, Kelly Clarkson, Katy Perry and Mariah Carey blaring out of his room. My God, it's like every gay stereotype rolled into one magical playlist. So, I ask, where's Madonna, Cyndi Lauper, Grace Jones, George Michael??? If this is the direction we're gonna go in, we might as well truly fag out and have some serious rainbows blowing out of some asses.

But after Katy Perry's "Waking Up In Vegas" played, I just had to get up from my desk and say something. Okay, so I just got back from having a pleasant conversation with Ed and I suggested, y'know, maybe some of The Gossip stuff or perhaps a few Royksopp jams. I was trying really hard to not take over.

He wrote my ideas down in a notebook, which made me feel a little better, but now that I'm hearing Akon smacking me from all the way down the hallway, I'm not going to get my hopes up.

I hope you guys can make it to my party tomorrow night...last year we literally had hundreds of people none of us knew bum rush the party. It was epic and hot and delicious and funky. Bring cute friends to my bedroom for VIP shenanigans and a case of champagne hidden in my closet.

Find me on Facebook or Email me for details.


Jason

Now Hear This: Daniel Merriweather

Text Me

Eddy: I am dumb and locked myself out...
Joseph Montana: Can I brinh anything to your party on Saturday?
Jenina: I'm doing good. I'll miss working with you. So what time on Sat?
Frank-Paul: Hey Dear, How r u? What time does your party start?
Heather: No worries on yesterday-I was busy running around all day anyways. See u Saturday and then lets figure out a time next week we can get diner and catch up on.
Emma: I have the wknd off! hat time do the festivities commence? Also can I bring a few peeps?
Michael T: Oh, I think me just showing up will surprise you. But Ill bring a good bottle for the crowd and non booze for me. Is it cool of I bring friends?
Sean: Hey, please keep me in mind if anyones giving away a mattress...I really need one.
Sandra O. N'oshi Didn't: Wanna go to another Frameline movie called "Good American" tonight at 7pm? At The Voctoria, 16th and Mission.
Juanita MORE!: There shouldn't be a problem. We will have 4 lines + 2 doors open.
Uriel: Hey honey! Just living life and enjoying some personal drama!
Greg: Lets move to Portland and open a yoga studio.
Sam: At Lookout.
Chave: Love you!

My Connection To Michael Jackson

This isn't a story I often tell people but my extended family are good friends with many of Michael's family members and I know quite a few people that had visited his Neverland Valley Ranch for events. As my Mom reminded me in an email yesterday, his Uncle Larry was even at my Grandpa's funeral in December.

And as for me? My connection isn't as strong, but interesting, think: when I was about 17 years old, supermarket chain Albertsons opened a store in the nearby town of Buellton , which was apart of the Santa Ynez Valley, near Solvang just off California's Central Coast. My Mom worked as a checkout person for ALbertsons in Lompoc and her connection helped get my friend Pete and I jobs at the new store.

In a big coup for the new store, we got the "Never Land Valley Ranch" account, and everyone was really excited because after the often 5 page fax was received and everything was packaged up, two lucky employees got to drive the groceries to ranch-one to steer the car and the other to sit and gawk.

Those assholes never let me go to the ranch, but after the list came in, it was often me that got handed the fax and I would have to get the huge, like, twelve wheeled flat thingy and then I'd go one page at a time up and down the aisles and shop for Michael Jackson!

It was usually divided into sections:

The Theater
The Kitchen
The Blah Blah Blah
The Blah
The Blah

The theater, of course, referred to a movie theater he had built on the grounds and was the location, as reported in lawsuits against the troubled star, of being the place where molestation of children may have occured.

I mention this because even at the time I can remember thinking how strange it was the page for The Theater that called for literally Costco size bundles of Kool-Aid, like, dozens of these huge containers of the sugary powder.

The lists didn't always specify brands or flavors of certain product-sometimes it would just say "peanut butter," so I would play this game in my head where I tried to mix it up from week to week. I'd imagine Michael loving the fact the The Theater has Cherry flavored Kool-Aid one week and Grape the next : )

Anyway, that's our connection, and I would like to a small moment to point out that through my many personal connections to Michael that everyone always said the same thing: he was a strange man, but always exceedingly kind and that they didn't think he was a menace to anyone at all.


jv

Now Hear This: The Gossip